We Are All Special

This is Josephina Blowsephina. I looked at my test grade and saw that it was a 79. I was wondering if that was out of 100 or not. Because if it was, i would like to come ina nd talk to you about it, i believe i did better than that on the test. Just let me know. Thank youJosephina.

No, my dear. It was 79 out of 79. You are truly a genius.

If only I could respond with my sarcastic evil inner-child instead of my "There are no stupid questions" professor persona. Life would be so much more like a Seinfeld episode.

My advisor informs me that this 'tude is more and more common among our current 18-22 year-olds. What is this phenomenon? I'll have to do some research on these generation . . . Dubya (?) types. (By the way, W is for "whiner.") Are these the kids who all got trophies in T-ball no matter how badly they (and/or their team) sucked? At the end of the year assemblies, did these kids all get ribbons? All 859 of them? Even when the faculty was so hard pressed for ribbon-worthy accomplishments that they ended up handing out blue "Cleanest pencil pouch" ribbons?

If, like me, you are cringing while reading their e-mails, you can only IMAGINE their papers. Well, you probably can't imagine them, but they chase me during my nightmares. And the very same student who writes about the country being in the mist of a baby boom (just an FYI if you're a bit confused - it is MIDST, not mist) has the cajones to come to me and say, "I don't understand this grade. I think I'm a very good writer." Or they e-mail it to me: "i tihnk i'm a very good writter" and I'm DYING to ask, "Exactly what are you basing this on?" (Sorry for ending a sentence with a preposition, my mom the English teacher - I know better.)

I do find solace in the fact that on www.glarkware.com, the Good Grammar Costs Nothing t-shirt is on back-order. This means I am not the only person who wants this t-shirt. That is promising.