Today's horoscope

Maybe today won't be so scary. Here is my horoscope:

"Your ruler, Mercury, is cheek to cheek with Venus, the planet of creativity, in the most dynamic sector of your chart (whatever that means). So whatever endeavor has your attention just has to be the start of something good."

To hell with school, let's go get baby's first Botox!

But I digress. A "five-star" day.

Today's birthdays (for you folks playing along at home):
Benjamin Franklin
Muhammad Ali
Andy Kaufman