Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Sigh . . . The Saga Continues

You're not going to believe this. 'Cause I don't believe it. I almost crapped my pants yesterday when I opened up my e-mail and found a message from (scary chords: Dun, Dun, DUN!!!!!!) Inappropriate Sister.

She is, it would seem, in Africa and she sent an e-mail about her experiences to, well, it looks like everyone in her address book. I am conflicted about whether I will post it here - wait - no, I definitely won't post the whole thing because it goes on forever. I sent it to a friend of mine and her response? "This is a psychotic rant." Indeed. I'm also concerned about posting even a portion because with my luck, she'll Google CRAZYJESUSLOVE, find my blog, figure out what's up and have me fired. Okay, I take it back. I just reread this "paragraph" - and I use the term loosely, I decided it is just too freakin' strange for me to deal with alone. I'm a'scared. It makes me go to my "scary place." Just the spelling alone is enough to send me into an epileptic fit. Look, read and be very afraid. I give you the e-mail of a recent college graduate:

wow so here i am sara met me at the airport and was my saviors expression as she paid the visa soldier man that had me sat down bringing different guys to gawk at me but none help me coz i am not arabic able at all. i was sooooooooo tired even tho i had slept a double 4 hr. shift on the milano flight where an albanian man who lived in columbia tried to complain about rich girls i fell asleep on a two seet fetus ride, mmm , it was hard leaving the closeness that develped in Dakar.

I've seen the future of this country and its name is Rain Man. I may take this post down in a few days, just to cover my fat white ass, but few people in my "real life" grasp how crazy she is. Feel privileged, my friends! Oh - and also? The spellchecker almost exploded when it got to her paragraph.

19 Comments:

Blogger Elisha said...

Ohmigod! I am not the queen of spelling by any means, or grammer for that matter, but that sounds like that girl from the tmobile commercial who is a h.s. cheerleader. What is arabic able? What is a fetus ride? I like how she can spell gawk, but not seat. And why is it bad that the guy is complaining about rich girls? Who doesn't complain about rich girls.

July 28, 2006 11:41 AM  
Blogger happychyck said...

My head almost exploded. Ouch!

July 28, 2006 11:45 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Wow. That's really all there is to say about that.

July 28, 2006 11:58 AM  
Blogger Liesl said...

Holy Heck. I have no idea what she means. At all.

So she graduated?? Do you think she has the capability of reading and understanding the words on her diploma?

July 28, 2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I think I just killed a few brain cells by reading that paragraph.

July 28, 2006 1:07 PM  
Anonymous Antique Mommy said...

(gulp) A two seet fetus ride (?) mmmm (?)

I don't really want to know.

July 28, 2006 2:17 PM  
Blogger maikaojai said...

Others have mentioned it already, but I just can't let this pass:

What is a fetus ride?

July 28, 2006 8:19 PM  
Blogger Lundie said...

I do not understand what it means to be "arabic able". Is that like handi-capable or something?

I feel my brain dripping out of my ears...

July 28, 2006 9:14 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

You know, sometimes I try to tame my bad language when I put a comment on here but today I really have to say, WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL? WHAT THE FUCK IS A "VISA SOLDIER MAN" AND I HAVE TO ASK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, WHAT THE HELL IS A "TWO SEET FETUS RIDE"? IS THAT SOMETHING TWO GUYS CAN BUY FROM A PREGNANT HOOKER?

July 29, 2006 10:55 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Oh my gob - Dale, when I read your comment I laughed so hard I cried. Something two guys can buy from a pregnant hooker!? ROTFLMAO!

July 29, 2006 11:25 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

The rational explanation: the Albanian man gave her acid on the Milano flight.

July 29, 2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Mamacita said...

Say the word and I will send you the email a student sent me last semester. You will then look again at YOUR email and think perhaps it's not so bad after all.

But it IS that bad. It's just not as bad as mine. Sometimes, it's not good to be the contest winner.

July 29, 2006 12:34 PM  
Anonymous DeAnna said...

Just throwing it out there that it seems like spelling and grammar are the least of this girl's problems. I mean really, didn't Einstein have horrible spelling and grammar? I think if we're going to mock this girl (and I'm not saying we shouldn't), we should at least address the real issue, which is that she's psycho. Making fun of her spelling is sort of like making fun of Tanya Harding for having unevenly plucked eyebrows.

July 29, 2006 9:58 PM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

Wow, that is sad. I wonder what her friends are like because if I got an email like that from someone? I couldn't be friends with them any more.

July 30, 2006 10:20 AM  
Blogger Vicki Culver said...

A classic comment, destined to go down in the annals of quotation history.

"I've seen the future of this country and its name is Rain Man."

Love your blog!

I used to keep a journal of really horrid grammar from Corporate America. It all sounded just like the crazy-ass girl you quoted.

July 30, 2006 5:54 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Inappropriate Sister sound like she have Enlish as not her first lanugage. She likie visa soldeier man, but no guys not help her she not abraic able at all.

What. The. Fuck. is she even talking about?

Thanks for sharing this- it's too damn funny.

July 31, 2006 10:27 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

Oh dear gob! LOLOLOL!

Now I'm going to forever wonder what a "two seet fetus ride" is.

August 01, 2006 10:24 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Wow, that was truly fascinating. How the heck does someone like that actually graduate?? That's for the entertainment! BTW, I read your "Inappropriate Sister" post and now I need to change my underwear I laughed so hard. glad to see you're still employed. For now. mwah haha

August 01, 2006 2:16 PM  
Anonymous edj said...

Ok so with my "expertise" as someone who has actually been to Dakar and lives in Africa, not to mention someone who works a lot with non-native speakers (what? She's a native speaker? No she's not; she's an alien) I thought I could decipher this. HA! It's beyond even me. I figured that Sara rescued her by paying a bribe to the uniformed men with guns at Customs/Immigration, all of whom were gawking at her because she's American and can't speak Arabic. (I'm good!) The Albanian man complained about how stand-offish she was and basing it on her nationality--she's American, ergo she's rich.
But she wins! I have no idea what a two-seat fetus ride could be either!!

September 27, 2006 8:38 AM  

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