Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Thursday Night Grammar Police

Remember this shirt? Well, family and friends (and Mr. J. - I guess you are both!), my birthday is next month and if you are at a loss . . . well, "loss no more!"

Once someone buys me this shirt, I have decided that every Thursday night, I will wear it to our neighborhood grocery store. There, I will hand out fines to any and all offenders. Last night, in one brief shopping trip, I saw these two egregious misuses of the English language:

1. We have peach's! No, you don't. You have peaches. Peach. es. Freakin' morons. And stop with the exclamation points. Peaches (and even peach's) aren't that! exciting!

2. We have necterines. People. If you work in the produce department, you should be the best spellers of produce anywhere. You have nectarines. As in "Nectar of the gods," not "Necter of the gods." What's next? Nestorines? (No offense to anyone named Nestor.)

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Anonymous heather said...

I want one of these t-shirts. My favourite (!) grammatical error by far is 'I would of' - 'he should of'. I despair but your blog helps in my despair.

July 14, 2006 3:34 PM  
Anonymous Antique Mommy said...

On the news one night, some young gal of a certain economic status and short a front tooth looked right into the camera and told the story of how a man tried to steal her purse and when she wouldn't let it go he yelled something "profound" at her and ran off. Criminals quoting Plato. What next.

July 14, 2006 4:52 PM  
Blogger Fraulein N said...

Gaaaaah. Stuff like "We have peach's" hurts my soul. Seriously, a little piece of me just died, I think.

July 14, 2006 5:50 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

I love this shirt! And I think I will need to get one and wear it when I teach (grammar, of course).

What is up with the apostrophes? Are people afraid of making things plural?

My personal favorite? "Let so and so and myself know what you think". The "myself" overuse is rampant among jock-types who wish to sound savvy, but really? Just sound dumb.

July 14, 2006 5:56 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 14, 2006 6:24 PM  
Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

And did you stand in the line that said, "Ten items or less?" That's fewer, people. FEWER!

July 14, 2006 7:00 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Colorado Castaway said, "All Peach's and Necterines 50% Off Get 'em now while supply's last!!"

July 14, 2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Oh, Mrs. T., that's an excellent point. It reminds me of that line from Austin Powers, "Allow myself to introduce . . . myself."

July 14, 2006 7:25 PM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

How about this one?

I saw a sign once that pluralized bus in the following way: BUS'ES.

I am not $hitting you.

Thanks for the laugh - "Peach. es." Hee hee!

July 14, 2006 7:50 PM  
Blogger happychyck said...

TOOL'S--the the name of the place I would not allow my husband to go when he was a mechanic. Just driving by the place irritate me. Luckily my husband totally understands me and found my edict logical.

July 15, 2006 12:02 AM  
Anonymous Julie said...

And speaking of jock types that wish to sound savvy, another one that drives me up the wall is misuse of "I," as in, "between you and I."

I want a shirt, too.

July 16, 2006 4:46 PM  
Blogger allrileyedup said...

When I was in college, there was a sign near the bike racks that ended with the words "strickly enforced."

Well, we certainly know what WASN'T strictly enforced...

July 16, 2006 6:46 PM  
Blogger NYC Educator said...

If you haven't read "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" yet, it's time. You'll love it.

I think there's a sequel now.

July 17, 2006 10:25 AM  

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