Thursday Night Grammar Police
Remember this shirt? Well, family and friends (and Mr. J. - I guess you are both!), my birthday is next month and if you are at a loss . . . well, "loss no more!"
Once someone buys me this shirt, I have decided that every Thursday night, I will wear it to our neighborhood grocery store. There, I will hand out fines to any and all offenders. Last night, in one brief shopping trip, I saw these two egregious misuses of the English language:
1. We have peach's! No, you don't. You have peaches. Peach. es. Freakin' morons. And stop with the exclamation points. Peaches (and even peach's) aren't that! exciting!
2. We have necterines. People. If you work in the produce department, you should be the best spellers of produce anywhere. You have nectarines. As in "Nectar of the gods," not "Necter of the gods." What's next? Nestorines? (No offense to anyone named Nestor.)
Labels: Manic Rants, The Mad Grammarian
posted by Teacher lady | 2:25 PM
11 Comments:
I want one of these t-shirts. My favourite (!) grammatical error by far is 'I would of' - 'he should of'. I despair but your blog helps in my despair.
On the news one night, some young gal of a certain economic status and short a front tooth looked right into the camera and told the story of how a man tried to steal her purse and when she wouldn't let it go he yelled something "profound" at her and ran off. Criminals quoting Plato. What next.
Gaaaaah. Stuff like "We have peach's" hurts my soul. Seriously, a little piece of me just died, I think.
I love this shirt! And I think I will need to get one and wear it when I teach (grammar, of course).
What is up with the apostrophes? Are people afraid of making things plural?
My personal favorite? "Let so and so and myself know what you think". The "myself" overuse is rampant among jock-types who wish to sound savvy, but really? Just sound dumb.
And did you stand in the line that said, "Ten items or less?" That's fewer, people. FEWER!
Colorado Castaway said, "All Peach's and Necterines 50% Off Get 'em now while supply's last!!"
Oh, Mrs. T., that's an excellent point. It reminds me of that line from Austin Powers, "Allow myself to introduce . . . myself."
How about this one?
I saw a sign once that pluralized bus in the following way: BUS'ES.
I am not $hitting you.
Thanks for the laugh - "Peach. es." Hee hee!
TOOL'S--the the name of the place I would not allow my husband to go when he was a mechanic. Just driving by the place irritate me. Luckily my husband totally understands me and found my edict logical.
And speaking of jock types that wish to sound savvy, another one that drives me up the wall is misuse of "I," as in, "between you and I."
I want a shirt, too.
If you haven't read "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" yet, it's time. You'll love it.
I think there's a sequel now.
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