Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Hey There Li'l Bunny!

I have had some fierce Halloween costumes in my life. But one of my favorites was one of my "adult" costumes - and no, not "adult" in that sense of the word. By the way - did you know that the true purpose of Halloween is to shamelessly release your inner slut? (Or so it would seem based on some costumes I witnessed recently. Certain characters should not be translated into "slutty" - e.g., Harry Potter. If you read the books and adore the series as I somewhat ashamedly do, you know that Harry is not a cross-dresser, a drag queen or a transgendered individual awaiting gender reassignment surgery. Then again, book 7 has not yet been released so I don't know for sure).

When I was a senior in college, I was a flapper. I really loved this costume. Long black sheath dress with loads o' fringe, long (like, almost breaking my kneecaps long) pearls and - the best part: a silver sequined headband, complete with one feather.

Looking back, I realized I expected a lot from my fellow college students. And if I'm honest with myself, the average (totally intoxicated) 21 year-old male shouldn't be expected to know what a flapper is.

However. If you don't know what something or someone is, don't guess. Over the course of one Halloween evening (which, okay, was spent almost entirely in one or two bars), I had the following two "conversations":

While standing at the bar, waiting for my .85 Bud Light (ah, those were the days, eh mates?) someone snapped my sequined headband. I turned around, trying to decide if this was the day I finally let loose and punched someone to see a young man standing there. He raised his hand in the most politically incorrect gesture I have seen in a long time and said, "How, Hiawatha." Um, no. I don't think that the American Indians were known for their respect for the earth, their spirituality and their inability to resist anything sequined. Except maybe that fake Indian guy from The Village People. And he totally doesn't count.

I didn't exactly know what to say to this person, so I turned back to the bar, paid for my beer and walked away, leaving this man one squaw short.

Later that evening, I literally bumped into another guy, who smiled at me and said, "Hey there, li'l bunny!" On what planet do rabbits have only one ear and that ear happens to be made out of a feather?! And don't even get me started on what kind of rabbits might wear pearls.

But I still loved that costume.

What's your favorite Halloween costume? (Childhood costumes can be included, too).

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8 Comments:

Blogger BeckaJo said...

This year I was slutty Hermione. Um. Sorry. At least I'm a woman! (Albeit a lesbian, whoops.)

Best costume was the Oscar the Grouch when I was four - green hair and skin and can and lid and all. My mother rocked. The runner-up is the princess costume my sister whipped up the night before a party I wasn't going to dress up for.

November 01, 2006 12:32 AM  
Blogger Alyndabear said...

You are right with the costume party/inner skank combination. We recently hired party outfits for an 80's birthday theme.. and holy hell, some of the slutty costumes they had were insane.

You can take any "character" and make it look like X-Rated.

Personally? We don't have Halloween, but if we did, I'd love to go as a year theme, 80's was a shocker (good, though!) so I'd maybe go 60s or 70s!

November 01, 2006 2:39 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Beckajo, since there was a hilarious Saturday Night Live skit recently starring LIndsey Lohan as a very busty Hermione, you are okay - under the radar, as it were! I had a neighbor who got to go as Oscar the Grouch (when I was in first grade) and I was SOO jealous!

November 01, 2006 9:38 AM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

Well, when I was growing up, back in the olden days, you didn't run to the store and BUY a costume. You spent the entire day rummaging around cobbling together a costume and being creative. One of my favorites was the guy caught in a windstorm -hair sprayed back, tie glued back, umbrella turned inside out. Another favorite was the stabbing victim - half a knife in the front, the other half in back. Of course that might have been funny because we were 12.

November 01, 2006 2:01 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

I did the flapper thing once (using all my own clothes), but changed it into Roxy Hart with the subtle use of fake gun and handcuffs.

But my best -- and least comfortable costume was Gumby. At least two feet high of felt-covered cardboard on my head.

ps. Wasn't Hiawatha a guy?

November 01, 2006 5:06 PM  
Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

I have nothing to say that'll further this discussion, but wanted you all to know that I just laughed so hard that my husband came over to check on me. Cackling laughter!

November 02, 2006 8:15 AM  
Blogger Fraulein N said...

Oh my damn. Did you attract some dumbasses or what? I swear, if I ever meet you in person and I am drunk, I'll greet you with "Hey there, li'l bunny!" It's cracking me up imagining, like, Fratty Joe, trying to be all cute with that line.

November 03, 2006 1:07 PM  
Blogger Vandalhooch said...

My favorite was three popes on a rope. Hand sewn sheets, red rope, cardboard crucifixes, candy rings. It would have been great except the third pope backed out. Luckily me and the other pope arrived at the bar to find a cross-dressing pregnant nun, so the night was saved!

November 07, 2006 12:46 AM  

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