Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Teacher Lady's Greatest Hits Compilation

Okay, not really a compilation so much as a reference to this post that folks seemed to find both entertaining and educational. How often do you come across such edu-tainment? Not very often, I say!!

This semester, my students did not disappoint. In fact, I think we have some entries that are even more clever than semesters past. And note: I am not mocking my students. (Really, I swear!) After all, if they knew all this stuff, they wouldn't be taking my class.

And now, I give you . . .

Teacher Lady's 10 Favorite Misspellings of the Male and Female Reproductive Structures!

10. Skin. Written next to the drawing of the scrotum. Well, yes, in a manner of speaking, I suppose you could call it skin. Sadly, although tempted, I couldn't bring myself to give this fellow even partial credit.

9. Testicale. The Italian version of testicle. Must be said with a slight Bronx accent. Yo! I'm'a gonna kick ya in your testica-LE!!!

8. Pubic Tube. Surprisingly, this is a first. No student has ever written "pubic tube" next to the urethra. And I'm starting to wonder why, because similar to the "skin" answer, it is kind of true, although not technically correct. Example: I highly doubt a urologist refers to the male urethra as the "pubic tube" unless he's that doctor on the Simpsons.

7. Mons Vesprin. This is for a woman who (truly) is in too much pain to have sex. A brilliant combination of Mons Veneris and aspirin.

6. Vas Deferens. Spelled correctly, but written next to the anus. Dude, you're NEVER going to get your wife pregnant that way.

5. Fliopein. The student was hungry. Although he wrote Fliopein next to the Fallopian tube, he was really thinking about a newly invented type of cuisine - a combination of Filopino food and Shrimp Lo Mein. Delicious!

4. Fermenen. This was actually said by Chevy Chase in the movie Fletch. You know, he was Dr. Fermenenen Rosen-Rosen. What did the student actually mean? Since she wrote it in the middle of the drawing, I honestly have no idea. But it is my favorite new word. Vaguely scientific, but still fun to say!

3. Equdus: Written next to the epididymis. I believe this student is a veterinary science major and she was actually referring to a part of a horse's reproductive anatomy. That happens sometimes.

2. Paradeneum: Written next to the perineum. Doctor to laboring mother: Don't worry, around here we don't call it an episiotomy - we call it a paradeneum. You know, like a little parade for your vagina!

1. And my all-time favorite is . . . Labidora Majora. Written next to the labia majora. Sort of like the external reproductive structures on a female Labrador Retriever.


Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

Is number 1 some kind of designer breed? I wonder if Paris Hilton has one? Ugh, never mind, strike that!

October 14, 2006 7:18 PM  
Blogger Alyndabear said...

Too funny! Your course sounds mighty interesting.

October 15, 2006 12:22 AM  
Blogger Frank said...

"Fliopein" looks like some sort of ancient Greek verb; a lot of Greek verbs end in -ein in the infinitive.

I don't think the vet science major was right even if she was thinking of a horse's reproductive system. I can find no mention of an 'equdus' on the Web.

October 15, 2006 2:05 AM  
Blogger Kai said...

LOL. Great post! Fliopein cracks me up!

Re: #3..if she's messing up the human and the horse reproductive anatomy she is going to be VERY dissapointed during her first sexual encounter.....

October 15, 2006 5:48 AM  
Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

And now I just keep singing #3 to the tune of Bob Marley's Exodus. Yikes!

October 15, 2006 5:38 PM  
Blogger The "Mind" said...

I'm not sure I could narrow these down to one favorite. I'm laughing so hard my children, who went to be an hour ago, have told me to be quiet and I'm a good 50 feet from their bedroom.

October 15, 2006 9:42 PM  
Blogger mex said...

I know they (those answers) seem bad, but after 31 years with 7th graders, including about half of them w/ GT (gifted/talented), I don't think they were too far gone. It's the type of answers they used to comprise the GT population (on admittance test), I do believe.


October 16, 2006 7:06 AM  
Blogger ricki said...

I can totally see someone who wanted a "distictive" name for their kid naming her Labiadora.

October 16, 2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

Teacher Lady! I've sat down to some blog reading after my second long evening after work spent painting my bedroom and let me just say: thank you for this. I almost choked on my chocolate Quadratini cookies from laughing so hard. I think I may have snorted when I read "pubic tube". Also amusing? That when I first typed that, I spelled it "public tube." Perhaps some part of a prostitute's anatomy?

October 16, 2006 8:32 PM  
Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

Okay, having toddlers I was thinking "Labidora" was how my daughter might describe a toilet-training accident while she's wearing Dora the Explorer underpants. I didn't make that puddle, Mom. It was my labidora.

October 16, 2006 9:18 PM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

Ha! A little parade for your vagina! Oh the imagery!

October 16, 2006 10:16 PM  
Blogger Fraulein N said...

Hee. Kids is dumb. And "Fermemen" is never going to stop being funny. Seriously, say it out loud. And then to the tune of the "By ... Mennen!" jingle. Awesome, right?

October 17, 2006 8:12 AM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Love the pubic tube! I also couldn't help but remember some mother earth child-birthing book I used to have where the auther referred to the perineum as a "taint", because it 'taint one, and it 'taint the other.
Pubic tube (I just typed "public tube", too) is awesome, and so is "equdus".
Keep 'em coming-the top 10 are a riot.

October 17, 2006 4:47 PM  
Blogger Doghouse said...

"Fliopein" sounds like your trouser zipper is down.

October 18, 2006 9:41 PM  
Blogger Schietto Sister said...

Too, funny! I think you should publish a book. This stuff is too good.

October 19, 2006 1:17 PM  

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