What? Everybody else is doing it!
Lately, a lot of serious pervs have been showing up here. I teach human sexuality. Not sexual perversion combined with “how to be the worst speller, ever.” But I give you ANOTHER collection of searches that brought folks here, but this time, I've added my oh-so-hilarious commentary.
It IS the most wonderful time of the year!
Sexy mom teach has soon video
Bookreport on extremely loud and incredibly close
Book report is two words, you cheating little bastard.
Who knew this was such a common problem? At least 3 searches this week!
Well, I guess . . .
Brooke Shields nude
Ew. Not Brooke Shields nude, because I’m sure she does Pilates and everything, but this person MUST be over 40 and now Brooke Shields has a husband and two children with completely incomprehensible names and SHAME ON YOU!!!
Showed my ass
As long as it wasn’t in church, I think you’re probably okay
ALL KINDS OF POSTCARDS THAT YOU CAN BIE
Good God, person. Stop shouting. And also: Stop skipping your spelling class.
Break up with your hairdresser.
See? And you all said I was being silly. Other people worry about these things, too.
Gracious george gingerbread
He sounds lovely. I would like to meet him. And then maybe bite his little cookie head off.
Fall in love with teacher.
This seems to be a common problem. But personally, I never had any teachers I could have fallen in love with. I mean, yikes. I must live in a state where it’s the law that teachers must be unlovable.
You know how to spell it, but you still have to look it up? Interesting.
Seriously. What with all the FREE! HOT! PORN! Flashing ads that come at you when you type those words into Google, I seemed like your best bet?
A sexy lady with no eyebrow and hair on the head.
Congratulations. You have just won the “creepiest search of the year” award.
Oh dear. Talk about being all dressed up and no place to go!
EDITED TO ADD: I had to delete all references to a little four-word movie that Jess was kind enough to Wiki for me. Of my past 100 Google searches, about 80% of them were NOT looking for my insightful writings on college teaching and . . . I was starting to get REALLY creeped out. Just, um, eew!