Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Monday, November 05, 2007

You Call That a Treat?

I'm like a bride after her wedding. I just keep wanting to relive Halloween and think about it and talk about it, and oh my! So very much upon which we can reflect.

Yeah. Our lives are pretty sad like that.

At one point my sister-in-law and her kids stopped by the house mid-tricking or treating because they had such a serious haul it was just getting to be too much to carry.

I love my SIL dearly. She has survived a hell of a lot and hence, I believe she is a survivor. She's tough. If I had been through everything she's been through, I would be locked up -either in prison or a mental hospital, but locked up, for sure. This is all to preface the fact that she is very religious. I don't care what you do in your spare time - honestly, I don't - but some types of folks who are very open about their religion make me a bit uncomfortable. But because SIL is so sweet and so dear, I can handle it. Most of the time. Also, having been raised Catholic, (nothing stuck except the guilt and this one thing I'm about to mention) I'm a bit biased about the fact that (I think) all the major religions have already been invented. Ditto all the major denominations. (Oh, boy. Am I going to get nasty comments here? That would be ironic.) So when we meet "Pastor Devon" who "invented" this church that meets in a giant 11-screen cinema every Sunday, I feel a bit worried. But Mr. J. and I know it gives her strength, and she doesn't have any money for them to steal, and even if it is a cult it seems like a positive one and holy crap, where was I going with this?

Oh, yeah. Someone in my neighborhood gave out Jesus coloring books. And dear SIL was over the moon. "Oh, a person after my own heart!" she swooned. "Isn't that such a great idea?" And I was looking around for someone to kick under the table except there was no table and you shouldn't kick children. (Or so I've heard.) I smiled and listened to her as she read the stickers that came with the coloring book, "He bled and died for you and your sins." Well, I guess that kind of goes with Halloween what with the blood and other gory, disturbing references?

A few days later I was telling my soon-to-be sister-in-law about this and she nodded wisely. "I know. When I was little there was a guy on our street who gave out toothbrushes." And so over the past few days I have started informally collecting a list of non-candy (and hence, otherwise disappointing) things that people received while trick-or-treating (as children, people. Trying to keep it clean here!)

In addition to the Jesus coloring books and toothbrushes, I was reminded of folks who would hand out .25 and .50 coupons for McDonald's. Does anyone else remember that? Sort of expensive, I guess - especially since I went trick-or-treating in the 70s and 80s and you sure could get a lot more bang for your, um, quarter back then. But still - when you're a kid looking to get enough candy to launch you into a sugar high that allows you to orbit the universe, a piece of paper isn't going to cut it.

Another friend told me her daughter got PediSure bars. I wasn't exactly sure what these were and I had to look them up. They're kind of like candy, right? Sort of for the person who ordinarily gives out granola bars, maybe?

And then someone who shall remain nameless told me she gave out individual packs of applesauce because kids like applesauce. Well, yes. For lunch with a peanut butter sandwich. Not for the tooth-rotting holiday of all holidays. I also remember getting pennies and pencils which didn't taste very good but were great for injuring younger siblings in a variety of ways.

So I'm dying to know - what's the weirdest/non-candy thing you ever got while trick-or-treating?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

i once got a world's greatest sister keychain. my question always was, how did that lady know i was a sister? and how did she know i was the greatest sister?

November 06, 2007 1:00 AM  
Blogger jo(e) said...

I never got anything particularly weird but I always hated people who handed out apples. Apples are heavy to carry, they get bruised and dirty in a bag of candy, and we always had plenty of apples at home during October. They weren't a treat.

November 06, 2007 8:09 AM  
Blogger squadratomagico said...

I cannot remember receiving anything particularly odd, but I have heard the suggestion to give out glow bracelets -- the kind where you have to break up the goop inside a plastic tube and then it glows for several hours. I hear parents love it b/c they can keep track of their angels if they run ahead.

November 06, 2007 10:22 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

I didn't get this, but a few years ago my brother's elderly neighbor didn't have any candy (her son had failed to get her some before the TorT-ing began), so she was handing out individual Wheat Thins!

My brother, being the wonderful person he is, immediately left his wife at the house to dole out their candy and ran to the store to buy some for his neighbor to hand out. I'm guessing this was probably much easier and less costly for him than cleaning the egg and TP off her house the next morning.

November 06, 2007 10:48 AM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Chips, stickers, tattoos, rings, yo-yos, clackers, erasers, pencils, balloons, raisins, apples, styrofoam airplanes...
I used to get a toothbrush from one house every year.
Those are all I can think of- the applesauce is still cracking me up. As is the Jesus coloring book. You could have kicked me under the table. And then, I would have probably had an aneurism from the extreme explosion of laughter that I would have had to suppress. BAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

November 06, 2007 6:15 PM  
Blogger Art Nerd said...

We had a neighbor who gave out sodas, but that was a TOTAL score! Our across the street neighbors this year gave out chips, and we had play-doh as a back-up. Applesauce? For REAL?!

November 06, 2007 8:30 PM  
Blogger Saradevil said...

This is going to sound so sad but I no longer remember much about trick or treating except that it was hard to do in my neighborhood so we only did it once. I think I went trick or treating maybe all of three times as a kid.

I do remember that once I think I got dental floss. But that could have been my birthday or christmas too.

November 11, 2007 5:35 PM  
Blogger SaraJ said...

Having grown up in redneck shrimper territory, I once got a fishing lure from the guy who owned the bait'n'tackle down the road. I guess that's better than getting a 40 from the scary convenience store across the street.
Ahh childhood in the redneck 'hood.

November 13, 2007 8:10 AM  

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