You Call That a Treat?
Yeah. Our lives are pretty sad like that.
At one point my sister-in-law and her kids stopped by the house mid-tricking or treating because they had such a serious haul it was just getting to be too much to carry.
I love my SIL dearly. She has survived a hell of a lot and hence, I believe she is a survivor. She's tough. If I had been through everything she's been through, I would be locked up -either in prison or a mental hospital, but locked up, for sure. This is all to preface the fact that she is very religious. I don't care what you do in your spare time - honestly, I don't - but some types of folks who are very open about their religion make me a bit uncomfortable. But because SIL is so sweet and so dear, I can handle it. Most of the time. Also, having been raised Catholic, (nothing stuck except the guilt and this one thing I'm about to mention) I'm a bit biased about the fact that (I think) all the major religions have already been invented. Ditto all the major denominations. (Oh, boy. Am I going to get nasty comments here? That would be ironic.) So when we meet "Pastor Devon" who "invented" this church that meets in a giant 11-screen cinema every Sunday, I feel a bit worried. But Mr. J. and I know it gives her strength, and she doesn't have any money for them to steal, and even if it is a cult it seems like a positive one and holy crap, where was I going with this?
Oh, yeah. Someone in my neighborhood gave out Jesus coloring books. And dear SIL was over the moon. "Oh, a person after my own heart!" she swooned. "Isn't that such a great idea?" And I was looking around for someone to kick under the table except there was no table and you shouldn't kick children. (Or so I've heard.) I smiled and listened to her as she read the stickers that came with the coloring book, "He bled and died for you and your sins." Well, I guess that kind of goes with Halloween what with the blood and other gory, disturbing references?
A few days later I was telling my soon-to-be sister-in-law about this and she nodded wisely. "I know. When I was little there was a guy on our street who gave out toothbrushes." And so over the past few days I have started informally collecting a list of non-candy (and hence, otherwise disappointing) things that people received while trick-or-treating (as children, people. Trying to keep it clean here!)
In addition to the Jesus coloring books and toothbrushes, I was reminded of folks who would hand out .25 and .50 coupons for McDonald's. Does anyone else remember that? Sort of expensive, I guess - especially since I went trick-or-treating in the 70s and 80s and you sure could get a lot more bang for your, um, quarter back then. But still - when you're a kid looking to get enough candy to launch you into a sugar high that allows you to orbit the universe, a piece of paper isn't going to cut it.
Another friend told me her daughter got PediSure bars. I wasn't exactly sure what these were and I had to look them up. They're kind of like candy, right? Sort of for the person who ordinarily gives out granola bars, maybe?
And then someone who shall remain nameless told me she gave out individual packs of applesauce because kids like applesauce. Well, yes. For lunch with a peanut butter sandwich. Not for the tooth-rotting holiday of all holidays. I also remember getting pennies and pencils which didn't taste very good but were great for injuring younger siblings in a variety of ways.
So I'm dying to know - what's the weirdest/non-candy thing you ever got while trick-or-treating?
Labels: Inane Ramblings