It was the Best of Times

My apologies to Charles Dickens.

Today, we discussed Chapter 9: Sexual Behavior. This is the particular day that students cannot wait for, also known as: Sexual Positions Day. I have two okay books I bring to class with me. One is just not very professional at all (see picture above - by the way, can I get arrested for copyright infringement?) but it sure does make the kids giggle and kind of loosens things up before I have to start saying words like "fellatio" and "cunnilingus." Before I show them the Position of the Day Playbook (the silly one), I have the students write M for male, or F for female on the top of a small index card and then write their favorite sexual position. Don't want to assume all college students are sexually active, so I say "And if you've never had sex, write down what position you think you'd like." It's sort of a very unscientific experiment; typically the women write missionary position or "woman on top" (although this semester, "reverse cowgirl" sure got a lot of votes) and the men write, inevitably, "doggie style." This semester proved to be a little different. I got one card from a female that went a little like this: "I like the position of man on top, but I like him to lean back somewhat on his knees, and I can bend my legs really far back and then I like for him to also grab my feet, while I close my legs together." This went on for about another paragraph (I'm not kidding) and had the class in hysterics. All I could think to say was, "Well, here's a woman who knows what she wants. Good for her." Next, from a gentleman (I use the term loosely), "Dogy style (note misspelling), because I love smackin' that ass." Excellent. Sometimes this class takes unexpected turns and I think to myself, "Why, exactly, did I think this was a good idea?" And then, my personal favorite. Picture it: You've got approximately 50 college students staring at you, waiting for you to read a peer's index card and perhaps say something educational. I read this card and just start laughing. Tears. I was speechless. It happens more often than I'd like to admit, but still doesn't happen that often. The students are literally on the edges of their seats and I have to admit to them, "I don't know what this one is." And I didn't. A male student wrote that his favorite position was:
The Flying Mango.