Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

It was the Best of Times

My apologies to Charles Dickens.

Today, we discussed Chapter 9: Sexual Behavior. This is the particular day that students cannot wait for, also known as: Sexual Positions Day. I have two okay books I bring to class with me. One is just not very professional at all (see picture above - by the way, can I get arrested for copyright infringement?) but it sure does make the kids giggle and kind of loosens things up before I have to start saying words like "fellatio" and "cunnilingus." Before I show them the Position of the Day Playbook (the silly one), I have the students write M for male, or F for female on the top of a small index card and then write their favorite sexual position. Don't want to assume all college students are sexually active, so I say "And if you've never had sex, write down what position you think you'd like." It's sort of a very unscientific experiment; typically the women write missionary position or "woman on top" (although this semester, "reverse cowgirl" sure got a lot of votes) and the men write, inevitably, "doggie style." This semester proved to be a little different. I got one card from a female that went a little like this: "I like the position of man on top, but I like him to lean back somewhat on his knees, and I can bend my legs really far back and then I like for him to also grab my feet, while I close my legs together." This went on for about another paragraph (I'm not kidding) and had the class in hysterics. All I could think to say was, "Well, here's a woman who knows what she wants. Good for her." Next, from a gentleman (I use the term loosely), "Dogy style (note misspelling), because I love smackin' that ass." Excellent. Sometimes this class takes unexpected turns and I think to myself, "Why, exactly, did I think this was a good idea?" And then, my personal favorite. Picture it: You've got approximately 50 college students staring at you, waiting for you to read a peer's index card and perhaps say something educational. I read this card and just start laughing. Tears. I was speechless. It happens more often than I'd like to admit, but still doesn't happen that often. The students are literally on the edges of their seats and I have to admit to them, "I don't know what this one is." And I didn't. A male student wrote that his favorite position was:
The Flying Mango.


Blogger Sara said...

Found you through Liberal Banana, and I just have to say that this post had me rolling. Your blog has made me weep for the future and feel better about myself and my education. Thanks for the laughs.

March 02, 2006 10:45 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Hey Sara! Welcome to sex ed. . . I guess I'm glad you liked the laughs and sorry for the weeping?

March 02, 2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

LOL!!!!!! Okay, so I had to know. I typed "Flying Mango" into Google. Sadly, no sexual position-related sites. (Or, rather, thankfully?) There is a restaurant in Des Moines with that same name. But eBay seriously kills me though. No matter what you type into Google, it turns it into something they can sell you. This time? It says "Discount Flight Mango - new & used selection." Yeah okay, eBay, sell me some FLIGHT MANGO. I need to write a freakin' post about this.

March 03, 2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

You go with your mad research skillz, girl! It had not occurred to me to look up Flying Mango. I guess I was afraid to.

March 03, 2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

Hmmmm, "The Flying Mango"? Hell I'm From Hawaii, and Haven't heard of that one. Is it anything like being a "feltcher"? And if you know what that is probably best to keep it to yourself LOL.

March 03, 2006 12:51 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

Hey Teacher Lady... thanks for all of the messages on my blog. I'm just reading yours, and they're so good. Thanks for all the advice. Keep up the great blogging!

March 03, 2006 3:00 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Welcome, Tara! So glad you're here - and really glad you don't hate me for all of my bossy ass-vice on your blog. I just see so much of myself (my younger self) in your posts, I couldn't help myself.

March 03, 2006 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

Hi! I came over here from Liberal Banana's site too.

OH. My. Gosh. My brother is in college. Perhaps I should consult him and see if he can explain what the heck the Flying Mango is. I've never heard of such a thing. LOL I don't know how you don't burst into hysterics every single damn day! Course I'm one of those giggly immature people that would still laugh when you said cunnilingus or fellatio. Yep. I'm pathetic. :)

March 10, 2006 11:31 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Hey Carrie! Welcome. You know what? I can say the words vulva, penis, vagina, epididymis, in front of anyone - at this point even family members - and I don't even blink (although they probably wish I was less, um, detailed.) But I swear, EVERY time I hear someone say, "It was our duty to blah, blah, blah," I just want to blurt out, "You said doody!"

March 10, 2006 12:07 PM  

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