Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Like You Care: Random Stuff about Me



Because I'm playing around with Blogger and can't figure out how to put this on its own separate page (yeah, I know - I shouldn't even be allowed to have a computer. Sorry.)



  1. My master’s degree is in a field completely unrelated to my doctoral studies.
  2. I judge people unfairly when I see them use “your” and “you’re” interchangeably.
  3. Teaching college students is not what I thought it would be.
  4. I love teaching.
  5. And I absolutely hate it.
  6. It depends on the day. And the student.
  7. I am extremely disappointed in the American education system today.
  8. I am on my second marriage.
  9. I got a divorce when I was 28.
  10. My first husband was an abusive drunk; I guess you could say I am a survivor of domestic violence (although he only choked me once. And only kicked down a locked door I was hiding behind once. And only shoved me so hard I fell and ripped my favorite jeans (the real travesty) once.)
  11. When I was in that marriage, I dabbled with an eating disorder.
  12. Because of that, the following foods literally make me gag: corn tortillas, Fiber One cereal, soy milk, yogurt mixed with uncooked oatmeal.
  13. I got married to my first husband in Lake Tahoe.
  14. Six months later I had a reception in my hometown.
  15. I had a different wedding dress for each event.
  16. Both of those days were miserable for me – in the top ten of “worst days of my life.”
  17. I should have known.
  18. I was only married for 14 months.
  19. Sometimes I’m amazed I got out alive.
  20. I believe that a handful of wonderfully supportive and patient people (including Schietto Sister) saved me from that marriage.
  21. I truly adored my first mother-in-law.
  22. Now I don’t have a mother-in-law.
  23. Sometimes women say to me, “Your husband’s mother is deceased? God, you are SO lucky!”
  24. My current husband is the smartest person I know.
  25. He always says, “I’m not that smart” when I tell him this.
  26. He has many nicknames for me.
  27. My favorite is “Sassy Sad-Pants” and no, it’s not sexual.
  28. My wedding to my second husband was a “surprise wedding” – our guests thought they were attending a black tie engagement party.
  29. That wedding dress was a red satin gown.
  30. That wedding day was the happiest day of my life.
  31. For Better or For Worse was my favorite comic strip growing up.
  32. When I was in sixth grade, I bought my dad a jar of Planter’s peanuts and a pack of grape Bubble Yum for Christmas. I hope he’s forgiven me.
  33. My grandmother died when I was 15. I still think of it as the worst thing that’s ever happened to me and the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.
  34. Twenty years later, I still miss her terribly.
  35. My natural hair color is dark brown.
  36. I have been blonde for the past 7 years.
  37. I have empirical evidence: Blondes do have more fun.
  38. Even though my husband has a vasectomy, I stayed on the Pill for years because I was terrified of an unplanned pregnancy.
  39. I am staunchly Pro-Choice, but I honestly don’t know if I could ever have an abortion.
  40. I don’t want to know if I could ever have an abortion.
  41. I lived in Hawaii but never visited Pearl Harbor.
  42. I didn’t start drinking coffee regularly until I was 27 and then became almost immediately addicted.
  43. I don’t really understand hot tea (unless it has alcohol and that’s for medicinal purposes, really.)
  44. I love board games. LOVE. Them.
  45. I really want to have “Board game parties” but no one seems that interested.
  46. My family members will no longer play Balderdash with me because I am an obnoxious winner.
  47. I once kicked the Balderdash board off the coffee table when I lost to a friend of mine.
  48. I was really drunk when I did that and he has since forgiven me.
  49. Both of my pinky fingers are crooked.
  50. I think plucking your eyebrows hurts much worse than getting them waxed.
  51. I have a freckle on my right earlobe that makes people say, “Oh, your right ear is double-pierced.”
  52. They don’t believe me when I say, “No, it’s not.”
  53. I’ve had more people look really closely at my right ear lobe than should be legally allowed.
  54. I have all of my wisdom teeth because I had my “twelve-year molars” removed to make room for them.
  55. I think I was born into the wrong religion.
  56. I was raised Catholic, but I really believe there was a cosmic mistake and I was supposed to have been born into a big Jewish family.
  57. Although I do hate blintzes and gefilte fish makes me really nervous, so maybe it’s all worked out for the best.
  58. I know all the words to the Dreidl song.
  59. I like to say, “Oy Vey Gevalt.”
  60. I work part-time as a wedding planner's assistant.
  61. The first time I saw a Ketubah signing I thought it was so beautiful I blubbered like a three year old.
  62. I was working that wedding and the family members thought I was really, really weird.
  63. I took a quiz called “How Jewish are You” and my result was “Incredibly Jewish!”
  64. I was one of two kids to do a “very special reading” at my First Communion.
  65. I remember getting dressed for my First Communion and telling my dad very somberly, “This is the most important day of my life.”
  66. I had a crown and a veil to go with my First Communion dress and I loved it.
  67. I wore it around the house for years afterward.
  68. I was a very weird little kid.
  69. I did have a nose job when I was 16.
  70. I hated high school so much that if you said to me, “Here’s five million dollars to go back to high school,” I would say, “Not even for ten.”
  71. I was a cheerleader in high school.
  72. In our high school that really meant nothing.
  73. I told my husband if we got cable television, I would gain 30 pounds.
  74. I’m half-way there.
  75. I can never remember how to spell commitment, knowledgeable or judgmental.
  76. When I was growing up, I was completely jealous of kids who had nicknames, and tried to give myself a nickname.
  77. Much like George Costanza's "T-Bone" experience, it didn't work.
  78. Now that I'm an adult, I find that most people close to me don't call me by my name - they call me by a nickname (not one that I created, of course!)
  79. I hated my first name growing up, so I tried to get people to call me by my middle name, "Marie."
  80. Yes - I already told you that I was born and raised Catholic - see #56.
  81. I also thought people should call me Marie because I loved Marie Osmond and thought she was beautiful.
  82. This didn't catch on, either.
  83. I've never been able to put on eyeliner in a way that didn't make me look completely ridiculous.
  84. I have way too many shoes.
  85. After it rains and the sidewalk is covered with worms, I can make myself really nauseous if I go outside and look at the worms.
  86. The first time I ever went to the OB/GYN, I jumped up after she left the room, fainted, hit my chin on the sink on the way down and woke up naked and bleeding from the face to find the doctor peering over me. She said, "What are you doing down there?"
  87. I think that's the dumbest question anyone has ever asked me.
  88. I love to scrapbook, but I don't really take pictures, so I end up making scrapbooks of other people's pictures.
  89. I don't really have "100 things about me."

Labels:

14 Comments:

Blogger zygote daddy said...

That's funny. I, too, find my entire perception of a student can hinge of their use of to, too, there, their, they're, your, and you're.

Probably unfair, but so it goes.

May 13, 2006 12:36 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

Okay, how come you never told me you lived in Hawaii? When? Where? Obviously, if you've read my profile you know I grew up there. Like you're(he he) hubby I had a Vasectomy, I still feel that it helped keep my Wife faithful. Now she's had a hysterectomy so that don't matter no more LOL. BTW her middle name is Marie, she was raised catholic. Cranium is my favorite board game, just in case you wanted to know :)

May 13, 2006 12:51 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

"When I was in sixth grade, I bought my dad a jar of Planter’s peanuts and a pack of grape Bubble Yum for Christmas" Remember, it's the thought that counts!! He may have been surprised, but if he's anything like I am as a father he was just happy you loved him enough to get him a gift.

May 13, 2006 12:57 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

On Oahu, Yacht Harbor Towers (Ewa Tower) from 1996-1998. I worked at Borders at Ward Center and I also hostessed at Compadres (also Ward Center) my first summer there.

May 13, 2006 1:16 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

I love your second wedding, that was a fabulous idea. I myself have several fun ideas in mind for whenever my SO of 8 years thinks the time is right. One of which even involves my obsession with hockey. LOL!

I always know how fortunate I am to have pseudo-in laws that not only I love, but that my own parents get along fabulously with. My ex-in laws...eesh.

Your OB/GYN story is the funniest thing I've heard in a while.

May 13, 2006 2:40 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Ok, I totally hate the misuse of their, there, they're, etc. and to add to it, I hate the 's used for the plural, the question "where's that at?" and the ubiquitous "I seen". I LOVE Balderdash and even play a version of it with my Spanish classes. I also think I may have mistakenly been born a goyish girl. When I took an online religion quiz, it said that I was a "neo-Catholic Pagan". That actually sums it up pretty well. I love and hate teaching- sometimes at the same time. And your ob/gyn story is freaking hilarious. Oh, and I was just humming that damn dreidl song yesterday, because of all weird things, I have a little wooden dreidl sitting in my window sill. (don't ask) And "verklempt" is a well-used word in my mish-mosh vernacular. The 100 things? They are not easy to come up with, eh? I totally had writer's block.

May 13, 2006 10:55 PM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

Cool, I grew up on Hickam AFB, then Lived in Pearl Ridge Estates up the hill from Pearl Ridge obviously, I graduated From Radford High School there. I used to go to Ward warehouse all the time because Old Spaghetti Factory is one of my favorite cheap restaurants. But that was 10 years before you even moved there LOL.

May 14, 2006 7:46 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

CC- I loved living in Hawaii. Who wouldn't, you ask? Well, my ex-husband hated it. He couldn't WAIT to move back to the Mainland. Probably something to do with him being a racist haole.

Mrs. T. - when you're not feeling well, do you also say, "I have shpilkas in my gennekdegezoink?" SO Linda Richman from Cawfee Talk. The original Jewish goddess.

May 14, 2006 11:47 AM  
Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

I especially love that you scrapbook other people's photos. Being artsy people, my H and I, we take surprisingly few photos. He studied photo, for god's sake! We have an amazing camera that we really rarely use.

I think a Catholic upbringing has a similar-enough focus on the guilt to nullify the Gentile angle. I've actually had this discussion with my friends.

I'm very slowly writing my 100 things. It's really hard, I'm stalled about half way.

May 14, 2006 9:37 PM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

You are officially one of my favorite people. I too had a Catholic upbringing. Sadly, the day of my first communion is marred by the memory of my dad getting peeved and driving 100 mph back home to pick up the forgotten communion chalice I had to make with silver Legg's pantyhose eggs. (Some weird symbolic thing. Each kid had to make one. I have no idea what it was all about.)

I too was married once before, and only for a year. I'm so sorry to hear your first husband was abusive. I'm so happy you're with a good one now.

On a lighter note, I laughed out loud at your Balderdash outburst. Hey, two board games in one sentence!)

May 14, 2006 10:49 PM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

I read your post last night on my Blackberry between watching The Simpsons and Desperate Housewives and I really wanted to comment but couldn't because the BB won't see the word verification! So today I can finally say: I am so sorry that you had to go through an abusive relationship. I'm thankful that you've come out safely on the other side! The world would be a much more boring place without Teacher Lady!

I was totally picturing you as a brunette! I love board games, too! We can play them at our Happy Non-Mother's Day party. And I cannot believe you passed out at the OB/GYN! That must've been so embarassing.

If you email me I can give you the info. on how to get this post on your sidebar. I'm working on an info. section on my blog because I get lots of web related questions! Good times!

May 15, 2006 9:19 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Thanks again gals! Jess, I am DYING over here about your silver Legg's pantyhose chalice. Please tell me you still have it!

May 15, 2006 11:08 AM  
Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

Hey - I know all the words to the 'Dreidl' song, too. And I'm also hopelessly hooked on coffee.

But the shoes - I don't think I have enough of them. I'm working on that one.

May 15, 2006 12:52 PM  
Anonymous Lady S said...

I did "30 things to my 30th Birthday" and nearly ran out. I have a way more boring life than you.

July 05, 2006 8:45 PM  

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