When Bad Things Happen to Bad People
The university uses this "online learning software" for all kinds of good stuff, including posting grades. Because of my past life, I've actually used 3 other types of online learning software and this one happens to be the worst. By far. Anyway, yesterday, I have two frantic e-mails from two different students telling me their grades aren't quite right. No, they're not being whiny brats groveling for an "A" - their grades aren't right at all. Something has gone wrong with the software (J. says a database is corrupted somewhere) and now I have 50 students with 13 quizzes, 2 exams, 4 reactionary reviews and more extra credit than they deserve whose grades are scrambled.
The person who is responsible for this software has told me there is "nothing she can do," while J. has been my knight in shining armor and told me she's full of it. We'll go get those old tapes from when they backed up their server and he'll go in and kick some fellow-tech-geek ass if he has to! Gotta love that man!
I have my own paper due, a presentation and two finals. And MOUNTAINS of their papers to grade because they all waited until the last damn minute to do all four of their papers. And let's not forget an 8-hour-gig at a wedding on Saturday. I will not be sleeping much in the next week and a half.
My post was going to be more of my favorite mistakes from their papers, but I figured gob was angry enough.
Oh, but when have I ever really worried about the wrath of gob? Here are just a few of my recent faves:
The AIDS patient was suffering from a bad disease called Chaos. (The AIDS patient was actually suffering from Kaposi's Sarcoma - KS for short; if the student had cracked open his textbook, he would have known this.)
In class on Tuesday, we watched an episode of Opera about sex addicts. I guess I am impressed - clearly she doesn't watch a lot of television.
Having unprotected sex is like playing roussin roulette. Again, I am impressed. This student doesn't spend a lot of time playing online games or visiting casinos. Although I could also argue that she's clearly never opened a geography or history textbook either.
Dr. S. told us that sexually transmitted infections known no racial or ethnic boundaries; they are an equal opportunity fender. I couldn't decide if the student thought Dr. S. was saying "fender" or if this was a typo. Or worse.
Jennifer clearly suffered from low self of steam. The winner.