Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Under Pressure!




Yesterday, when I should have been grading papers or writing papers or studying for what promises to be a grueling final, I was driving to a party - to work, not to play. As I was speeding along the interstate, within ten minutes on the SAME radio station, I heard both Pressure by Billy Joel and Under Pressure by David Bowie and someone else (Freddy Mercury, maybe?) and I thought that yes, gob is definitely trying to tell me something. (BTW - are song titles italicized, underlined, put in quotes, what?)

But, a job in education + a complete kitchen overhaul + a dog with ACL issues + a recent development called "Check Engine light" = Extra-super-broke. So, the weddings and the parties, I take 'em as they come, regardless of my finals week schedule.

Brokeness also translates to no disposable income for hair or eyebrows. Our friends Bert & Ernie (courtesy of Media Bistro, thank you!) are here today to show you what my eyebrows look like (check out Bert, not Ernie.) This is what happens when you are "under pressure" and broke and haven't been to the eyebrow waxing lady since, well, you can't quite remember when.

But I'm sure you don't read this blog because you don't get enough bitching and moaning in your own lives. I know why you read this blog. You read this blog for these (please insert your own witty comments and snarky asides - I have to save my brain power for finals week!)
  • All you need to contract a sexually transmitted infection is a mucus mem-brain.
  • Human sexuality has many different faucets.
  • The most frightening part of Tracey's story is that she was rapped during one of her one-night-stands.
  • In 1998, after seeing her boyfriend cheat on her, Jennifer had her first one nightstand.
  • It was a one night stand that lasted for ten minuets.
  • She would get their phone numbers at random places like gas stations, excreta.

11 Comments:

Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

a favorite misspelling of mine comes from a message board, where women post controversial or otherwise stupid anecdotes, then request "no flamming". HOT!

Excreta, ew. Is that what she wrote the numbers down with?

May 07, 2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

If I saw my boyfriend cheating on me, I'd have more than a one nightstand. I'd have a house full of furniture on his credit card.

These crack me up. But I come for the bitching and moaning too frankly.

May 07, 2006 8:40 PM  
Anonymous janet said...

gob, those are so damn funny. maybe you should collect them for a coffee table book? or a one nightstand book?

May 07, 2006 10:01 PM  
Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

so did anyone write about Kiki the "don't try this in the classroom" sex worker?

May 08, 2006 8:32 AM  
Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

You have an uncanny knack for asking the same question's that are milling around in my head. unfortunately I cannot answer this: "are song titles italicized, underlined, put in quotes, what?"
I Put mine in quotes, I guess i'll have to wait and see what the definative answer is. And, If Tracey wants to have good one nighthstands she needs to stay awat from 8-Mile in Detroit.

May 08, 2006 9:04 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

One-night stand rapping is a huge issue that needs to be discussed in greater detail these days. I mean, to have to listen to amateurish rhyme schemes for hours on end, smile politely the whole while, and then never get so much as a phone call the next morning? Horrible. Our nation's young women deserve better.

Your comment on my blog today was wonderfully perceptive and scary. I appreciate the professional perspective. Hope you'll be back with more. I always welcome intelligent discussion into the fray!

May 08, 2006 11:01 AM  
Blogger liberalbanana said...

Thank you - I am smiling for the first time today. (Let alone laughing out loud!) At least the "excreta" kid spelled "their" correctly. HA!

Don't you have some tweezers sitting around somewhere? If not, buy some - they're cheaper than a wax and although it takes longer, they get the job done! (For the record, my stepmom takes my 11 yr old stepsister to get her eyebrows waxed. I have NEVER had it done. What the hell is up with that??)

May 08, 2006 11:25 AM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

ten minuets? excreta? nightstand? Oh, you are comedic gold. I thank the Internet gods that I found your site (and that you are willing to share these student snafus with us.)

May 08, 2006 11:37 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

I come here to listen to you preach the word of gob.

I think I'll wash my hands at home, carry Purell and stay away from public faucets. I don't want to be touching an human sexuality on accident.

May 09, 2006 2:08 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Today when correcting one of my student's vocab quizzes, I came across this gem:
cocinar: to cock
(cook). Excreta, excreta, excreta.

May 09, 2006 4:24 PM  
Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

You find the best phone numbers in excreta. Right next to the corn.

(I'm so sorry. I have two kids in diapers.)

It's a little off topic, but you might enjoy this lovely post about a Japanese festival pertinent to your field.

May 09, 2006 11:45 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home