Under Pressure!
Yesterday, when I should have been grading papers or writing papers or studying for what promises to be a grueling final, I was driving to a party - to work, not to play. As I was speeding along the interstate, within ten minutes on the SAME radio station, I heard both Pressure by Billy Joel and Under Pressure by David Bowie and someone else (Freddy Mercury, maybe?) and I thought that yes, gob is definitely trying to tell me something. (BTW - are song titles italicized, underlined, put in quotes, what?)
But, a job in education + a complete kitchen overhaul + a dog with ACL issues + a recent development called "Check Engine light" = Extra-super-broke. So, the weddings and the parties, I take 'em as they come, regardless of my finals week schedule.
Brokeness also translates to no disposable income for hair or eyebrows. Our friends Bert & Ernie (courtesy of Media Bistro, thank you!) are here today to show you what my eyebrows look like (check out Bert, not Ernie.) This is what happens when you are "under pressure" and broke and haven't been to the eyebrow waxing lady since, well, you can't quite remember when.
But I'm sure you don't read this blog because you don't get enough bitching and moaning in your own lives. I know why you read this blog. You read this blog for these (please insert your own witty comments and snarky asides - I have to save my brain power for finals week!)
- All you need to contract a sexually transmitted infection is a mucus mem-brain.
- Human sexuality has many different faucets.
- The most frightening part of Tracey's story is that she was rapped during one of her one-night-stands.
- In 1998, after seeing her boyfriend cheat on her, Jennifer had her first one nightstand.
- It was a one night stand that lasted for ten minuets.
- She would get their phone numbers at random places like gas stations, excreta.
posted by Teacher lady | 10:51 AM
9 Comments:
a favorite misspelling of mine comes from a message board, where women post controversial or otherwise stupid anecdotes, then request "no flamming". HOT!
Excreta, ew. Is that what she wrote the numbers down with?
If I saw my boyfriend cheating on me, I'd have more than a one nightstand. I'd have a house full of furniture on his credit card.
These crack me up. But I come for the bitching and moaning too frankly.
gob, those are so damn funny. maybe you should collect them for a coffee table book? or a one nightstand book?
so did anyone write about Kiki the "don't try this in the classroom" sex worker?
One-night stand rapping is a huge issue that needs to be discussed in greater detail these days. I mean, to have to listen to amateurish rhyme schemes for hours on end, smile politely the whole while, and then never get so much as a phone call the next morning? Horrible. Our nation's young women deserve better.
Your comment on my blog today was wonderfully perceptive and scary. I appreciate the professional perspective. Hope you'll be back with more. I always welcome intelligent discussion into the fray!
Thank you - I am smiling for the first time today. (Let alone laughing out loud!) At least the "excreta" kid spelled "their" correctly. HA!
Don't you have some tweezers sitting around somewhere? If not, buy some - they're cheaper than a wax and although it takes longer, they get the job done! (For the record, my stepmom takes my 11 yr old stepsister to get her eyebrows waxed. I have NEVER had it done. What the hell is up with that??)
ten minuets? excreta? nightstand? Oh, you are comedic gold. I thank the Internet gods that I found your site (and that you are willing to share these student snafus with us.)
Today when correcting one of my student's vocab quizzes, I came across this gem:
cocinar: to cock
(cook). Excreta, excreta, excreta.
You find the best phone numbers in excreta. Right next to the corn.
(I'm so sorry. I have two kids in diapers.)
It's a little off topic, but you might enjoy this lovely post about a Japanese festival pertinent to your field.
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