My weaknesses? Too numerous to list here. I don't even know where to begin. Do I start with "subjects I may easily fail", like math and well, mostly math? Or do I begin with personal traits like, "Couldn't keep her desk clean if her life literally depended upon it"? Easily distracted, lazy, tends to procrastinate, overemotional and prone to fits of drama to name but a few - and that's not even line one of the list.
I think of Mr. J. as insanely more intelligent than I am - after all, who but the insanely (hmm . . . ) intelligent would voluntarily teach college Calculus - for fun? In his spare time? So imagine my surprise during this conversation last week:
Mr. J.: Josie (Mr. J.'s 19-year-old niece) crashed her car the other day.
me: Oh my gob! Is she okay?
Mr. J.: She's fine, but the car is totaled.
me: Casey (Mr. J.'s overworked, underpaid, single-mother-of-three-kids sister) isn't going to try and buy her another car, is she? I mean, Josie's in college. And Casey absolutely can't afford to buy her a car!
Mr. J.: I know, that's what I told Casey. That's Josie's milk to clean up.
me: Huh? Josie was drinking milk and she spilled it on herself and that's why she crashed the car?
Mr. J.: No - you know, it's a saying. "The person who spills the milk has to clean it up."
me: Yeah, I don't really think that's the saying. I think it's, "Don't cry over spilled milk."
Mr. J.: Whatever. You know what I mean.
What's the funniest malapropism you ever heard? (Or said?)