Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

It's Finally Here! How I Dated My Husband: Part II in a Series

Y'all have been so patient. Not like anyone has been banging down my door for second helpings. When I was writing about the blind dates from hell, my dear readers couldn't get enough of my misery. Schadenfreude is part of the human experience, I guess. I'm guilty.

Since it's a new year, I'm required to recruit new members to the Mr. J. fan club. Let the recruitment effort commence:

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not just mentally unstable. I'm also pretty evil. After the whole Blane experience, I decided that for our first "real" date - i.e., unchaperoned by Steve and Suzanne - we would go to the same notorious cash-only restaurant that showed me Blane's true colors early on. Yes, heterosexual gentlemen readers (all 4 of you). I set a trap. However, please do not use my opprobrious act as evidence that all women are manipulative shrews.

I was running late for our date. (Okay, if you've been a reader for more than a month, I don't need to type that anymore, do I? Let's just assume that's how every story begins if I'm to leave the house, okay?) I was not dragging my feet late, just oh-my-gosh-I-like-this-guy, so I must change clothes 17 times late. It was also raining unbelievably hard outside; I knew I wouldn't find a parking space very near the restaurant. Hence, I resigned myself to parking several storefronts down and seeing Mr. J. for the first time in a week wearing the costume of "drowned rat." So much for the 17 outfit changes.

One last refresh of the lipstick in the rear view mirror and then my heart stopped. Some weirdo was here to kill me before my date. Someone was standing next to my car. Did I have my cell phone? Who should I call? Is, "Someone is standing outside my car and it's dark and raining" a legitimate reason to dial 9-1-1? And then I looked again. It was Mr. J. - holding an umbrella and a dozen teeny tiny pink roses. I opened the car door while mentally praying all I had done was check my lipstick and not, um, my nostrils or anything else embarrassing. Mr. J. spoke first, "I didn't mean to scare you. But it's raining so hard and I wasn't sure if you had an umbrella." I didn't. Then I stammered, "But, I'm, um, 10 minutes late. How - where - were you standing outside for the past 10 minutes?" He nodded. "Yeah. It wasn't bad at all." He's an excellent liar sometimes.

Then he handed me the roses. "You probably don't want to bring these into the restaurant, so if you want to put them in your car now, that's fine." He was right again, and I did put them in my car.

Do I really need to tell you that he had cash for the restaurant? Because of course he did. Stay tuned . . . many more nauseatingly romantic tales to come!



Blogger Shawnee said...

Well, after that, you almost HAD TO marry him, didn't you? It's hard being married to the Perfect Man, isn't it? I like to think of my delightful husband as my reward for my disastrous, not-nearly-brief-enough first marriage. Can't wait for the next installment!

January 16, 2007 1:04 PM  
Blogger Red said...

Oooh, no wonder you married him! I can't wait for the next update!


January 16, 2007 2:11 PM  
Blogger Peach said...

OH WOW!!! that was so sweet. you are so lucky...what an awsome thoughtful guy.

January 16, 2007 2:13 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

What a keeper. I can't wait to read more!

January 16, 2007 2:44 PM  
Blogger Art Nerd Lauren said...

Sigh! Good man you have there. I love that he thought to not have you carry the flowers in- I'd have felt like Teacher Lady, Miss America!

January 16, 2007 3:36 PM  
Blogger Kimmy753 said...

Very sweet...and you know, sometimes it takes a first marriage to make you realize exactly HOW wonderful the second one really is. I know my first definitely has made me appreciate every little thing about my husband!

January 16, 2007 3:54 PM  
Blogger Jhianna said...

Ooooh - it's been awhile, so I forgot about being a member of the Mr. J. fan club. *sigh* That's why I joined....

January 16, 2007 3:56 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I am so glad you started this new series. I will be waiting patiently for the next installment.

January 16, 2007 4:25 PM  
Blogger Monique said...

Yippee! So sweet!

January 16, 2007 6:00 PM  
Blogger karenmf said...

I am a new member of the fan club - I just read all the posts in the first series and now I'm starting the New Series.
I had my own disastrous blind date this past weekend, so the timing is great.
Now, however, I have to hate you for finding the perfect man : )

January 16, 2007 6:30 PM  
Blogger Carla said...

I can't wait to see how it ends....

January 17, 2007 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had word-for-word the same reaction as Susie: what a keeper!

January 17, 2007 10:53 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'd like to join the fan club as well. Can't wait for the next installment.

January 17, 2007 11:23 AM  
Blogger Lynne said...

Sign me up for the Mr. J fan club, please. And the second-marriage-as- reward-for-first-marriage hypothesis.

January 17, 2007 12:12 PM  
Blogger Fraulein N said...

Awww, how sweet. Love a guy who thinks ahead.

January 17, 2007 1:02 PM  
Blogger Terminaldegree said...

Does he have a single brother? :)

January 17, 2007 2:43 PM  
Blogger Elisha said...

Yeah, I want to know if he has a single brother too, or cousin or nephew, even a close a friend would be fine. Who am I kidding, a neighbor perhaps?

January 17, 2007 4:59 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

What a find. I'm always so amazed that I found someone so perfect. Good to know there are others out there. (then people will leave mine alone...:))

January 17, 2007 6:06 PM  
Blogger Suzi said...

It is good to know there are other great guys out there.

And I'd love to hear more about your happily ever after story.

January 30, 2007 11:52 PM  

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