Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Just a Bunch of Stuff

When you are in the car, trying to peer through a windshield being pelted with giant raindrops and you hear the DJ/weather-person guy say, "Tonight, there will be a slight chance of rain," you have to wonder how the hell you can get THAT job. And also? Dude. Stick your hand out the freakin' window. Or, gosh. I dunno. Maybe look out the window?

Some people have luck. I do not. I don't think I ever have. Short of winning a few coloring contests in my childhood, I'm fairly devoid of luck. I guess I have to clarify. I don't just mean winning the lottery luck. I mean the kind of, "I'm running late but if I can make every light I might even be two minutes early" luck. And of course, if I'm running late, and I will get stopped at every light and perhaps a freakish accident or two. The next day, traveling the same exact route, when I'm hoping for a red light so I can just catch my breath, take a sip of coffee, or get the giant eyelash out of my eye that is temporarily blinding me, that is when I will glide through every single green light. Of course.

So I should not have been the least bit surprised when last week I was running late for my office hours. I have office hours three days a week. I think it's the 11th? 12th? week of the semester. I have been on time or early for my office hours every single time. Whether it was 33 times or 36 times, no student ever showed up. Ever. Thursday, I was late. About 15 minutes late. And of course, that was the day a student showed up. Even better: Some office mates told me a student had stopped by, waiting all of 20 seconds and then saying, "No big deal, I'll just e-mail her," and then he did. Except in his e-mail, he told me he had been waiting patiently for 20 minutes and then finally - sadly - gave up. Apparently his plan was for me to pack my bags and set off on my guilt trip, but you know what? Not gonna happen. I had witnesses - and I was there 15 minutes late. Not 20. I would have tripped over him had he still been there. Doesn't matter if he wiated 20 seconds or 20 minutes. That's going to show up on my end-of-course evals: Not available during office hours. And you know what else? He said he'd stop by today. Since I was a bit paranoid and overzealous, I was an hour early. Then another professor asked me if I wanted to run to Starbucks with her. Knowing my luck, I declined, figuring he would show up during the last 10 minutes of my office hours and I'd look like the thoughtless prof once again. Except he didn't show up. Even better? When I got home tonight at 9:00 p.m. I had an e-mail from him that read: "I'm sorry. I was too ill to come to your office hours." Thanks. I didn't notice you were ill, but I did notice you didn't show up. Like the college boyfriend who would call me when he was an hour late and say, "I'm running late." And the only appropriate reply was a crass phrase I normally don't use in life: "No shit, Sherlock."

This weekend, after hearing much praise from several women in my life, I rented The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Jack Black. And all I can say is, "The hell?!?!!" Do you have to be high on eggnog to think this is a "not-to-be-missed" movie? Mr. J., who is an amazingly good sport about "chick flicks" was equally mystified. Then again, he couldn't say much because it was his sister and his niece who happened to be raving about it when we saw them last week. After we watch crap movies, we often talk about how we should go to Hollywood and somehow get involved producing movies. You know, 'cause I'm sure it's a real easy field to just bust into. But seriously. Gigli, anyone? How hard can it be? Or do you think the average Hollywood exec just grossly underestimates the intelligence of the average American? Luckily I have no problem fast-forwarding through any scenes that appear to be utterly pointless and dreadfully boring, so I lost approximately 1.5 hours of my life instead of 2.1 hours.

I can't even get into the Virginia Tech shootings and I'm not sure I will go there. But just so you know - I do try to stay up-to-date on some current events and even I am not that completely self-absorbed.

Peace (Really - it's more of a request than a closing),




Blogger Kate C. said...

Every semester, I find that students feel like I have even more obligation to them. This semester--one student told me it was his fault he plagiarized his take home final, because, if I had given an in-class test, he would not have had the opportunity to cheat.

April 17, 2007 9:26 AM  
Blogger Kimmy753 said...

I do have to admit..I thought of you when I heard about Virginia Tech yesterday. Since I don't know what school..or which you teach, the thought crossed my mind. Very glad you are not a prof there and you're ok!!

April 17, 2007 11:21 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

I often feel the same way about my luck. Y'know, the Hee-Haw words: "if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all." But in my heart-of-hearts, I know the truth is that I just have minor league luck. I don't get struck by lightning, and I don't win the lottery. I'm middle-of-the-road. And looking at the news today I'm glad of that. I could have much worse luck.

April 17, 2007 3:16 PM  

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