Why Is There Always One?
Can someone please explain this to me? When I was young and stupid (okay, three and a half years ago so not so young but incredibly stupid), I thought this was a phenomenon only of my current employer. Mr. J. repeatedly tried to tell me that the world is full of great big giant PITAs (pains-in-the-asses) but no - I thought my situation was unique.
Well, duh is all I can say to my old-enough-to-know-better 33-year-old self. Duh.
I work with a woman who is so hideous that after my first run-in with her, I automatically nick-named her "Jaws of Death." I don't know why. I've never even met her in person. She could have perfectly healthy, life-like jaws. It just popped into my head and was much more original and creative than "Hideous bitch" - which, as I came to find out later, is what everyone else calls her. And I only call her Jaws of Death in my mind. Well, and as code that I use when e-mailing a certain co-worker, but other than that, I swear - it's just me and good ol' JOD.
I thought I had seen and heard all manner of corporate obnoxiousness until. Until. We had a meeting to prepare for a meeting. With her. No wait -here is what I mean: All of the people who were going to be in Tuesday's meeting with her were in Monday's meeting. To practice how we were going to do the meeting and who was going to say what on Tuesday when JOD was actually present. Is this woman the CEO? No. Is she my manager? No. Is she my manager's manager? No. Does she have any legitimate power? Not so much. And yet? She is a huge NASCAR fan, enjoys tanning, bleaching her hair and verbally ripping people apart in meetings at work. She's a real Miss Universe candidate.
Hence, we have meetings expressly for the purpose of preparing for the "real" meeting the next day with her. I happened to say this to someone from another part of the company. "I'm confused. Is this normal? To have a meeting to plan for a meeting?" And I'm not talking about some fabulous-presentation-to-the-client kind of meeting. I'm talking about just a regular meeting, with all internal folks and many of her peers. "Oh, yes," the person assured me. "We have meetings to prepare for meetings with difficult people all the time." Wouldn't it make more sense to show the giant pain in the ass where the door is and then cut down the number of meetings to only the actual number of meetings you need to have? Then again, I never went to Harvard Business School. I don't have an MBA. Hell, I've gone through undergrad, a master's program and a significant chunk of a doc program without ever taking a business class. So what the hell do I know?
Ah, well. The good news is, I know enough to recognize an excuse to drink and she gives me an excuse to drink. Which I did. And hence, I am now drunk. Please forgive any spelling errors.
Is it Friday yet?
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