Something in the Air
Earlier this week, while waiting for my next unsuspecting freshman to register, I was surfing around Blogger and via a blog I can no longer find (I swear it, I can't remember the name of it and I can't find it!), I found this: The Da Vinci Dialogues, by Steve Douglass, President of Campus Crusade for Christ.
And I have to say: I just. don't. get it.
As I have mentioned, I was raised Catholic. Yes, there are inherent problems in the Catholic religion. But so what? I think there are inherent problems in every religion. As one of the commenters to Amalah's post noted, men created religion - hence, just as men are flawed, so are religions. Anyway, I write that because I feel like my opinion is that of someone who was once religious (eight years of Catholic grade school will do that to you), so I'm not a never-set-foot-in-any-church-scratching-my-head-going- "Wha?" person. That disclaimer in place:
"Wha?" I've read The Da Vinci Code and I thought it was like any great murder mystery. A beach read. Mind candy. I also toyed with the idea that it's certainly conceivable to me that Jesus was married. After all, that's what Jews did in that time and part of the world.
But hoo-dawgie, that idea has made a whole lot of people go bat-shit crazy. If you can't bring yourself to read Douglass's whole commentary (and I can't blame you), here's the gist: "To be sure, Christians are insulted and demeaned by blasphemous works of men."
Okay, well, who WROTE the Bible? I think it was . . . let's see here, oh yeah. Men!! Now, I know many people believe that the Bible was really written by God, just through men, so I'll give them that. A lot of these Campus Crusade for Christ types believe that the Bible is the real, true word of God (except the Old Testament, 'cause that's crap and it's just for Jews. Except for when you want to engage in raging homophobia and then it's also good for that - Leviticus, you know. Although why people quote Leviticus to justify their homophobia but never quote one of my favorite rules - "He who has a crushed testicle is not fit to enter the Kingdom of Heaven" - is beyond me. Let's be consistent, people! If you're so concerned about people going to hell, why not start a free crushed testicle-replacement program? It'd be a great tax write-off, I'm sure.).
Why is it so blasphemous to consider that Jesus might have been married? The Da Vinci Code isn't about the shocking revelation that Jesus was gay, or that he was a cannibal, or that he really hated fish (even though Catholics are supposed to eat fish on Fridays during Lent) or that he liked to kick Middle Eastern Jewish puppies when no one was looking. Personally, I think this Jesus Saves air freshener is way more offensive than the speculation that Jesus might have been some lucky gal's "old man."
So, for the sake of being the blasphemous heathen that I am, let's pretend Jesus was half of Mr. and Mrs. Jesus. And it's quite conceivable that (should I write it? Eight years of Catholic education are hanging over my head - I'm still a little scared!) Jesus had sex. So he did all these amazing things, but as a married man, he might have had sex with his wife and then . . . what? That debases the sacred name of Jesus? In the Catholic church, marriage is considered one of the sacraments. So, no, I guess it can't possibly be true that Jesus was married because as we all know, marriage is really, really bad.
I guess the bottom line for me is, I really don't want to get it. I think the logic might be, "It's not in the Bible so it can't be true. Anything not in the Bible and therefore, not true, shouldn't be written about because it's blasphemous and insulting." Or maybe, "Jesus came to earth to live as God's only son and as the Son of God, he didn't lower himself to the baser human pursuits like marriage, sex, and perhaps parenting." All right then, is it blasphemous if I say that I think Jesus probably had diarrhea at some point in his 33 years on earth? Didn't he come to earth to experience the pain of being a lowly human? They didn't have too many anti-biotics two thousand years ago, and I'm guessing their food preparation standards (although Kosher) probably weren't that high. Not a lot of Purell flying around Jerusalem in those days, you know? But it wasn't in the Bible so it couldn't be true? Not buyin' it.