Santa Baby Wishes His Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me
Anyway, they (B&BW, not the surburban women) are ALL decked out for Christmas, including the Christmas tunes playing. All I can say is: Gob help those poor women. Those poor, poor, poor women. If you've worked retail during the holiday season you know exactly what I'm talking about.
As I was waiting for one of the lovely young women to come and separate me from my hard-earned cash, I picked up the "Bath and Body Works Christmas Joy CD of All That is Wrong and Unholy in the Universe" because it includes my all-time favorite Christmas song, Santa Baby done by the PussyCat-freakin' slut-Dolls. As Fraulein N would say, "Aw, hell to the naw."
There is one person who performs Santa Baby. Her name is Eartha Kitt. No one else has any business singing that song. As far as I'm concerned, Madonna, Willa-Freakin'-Ford and now the Pussy Cat Dolls might as well have pulled out a handful of the Virgin Mary's hair and poked the Baby Jesus in the eye. It is so wrong.
(And if anyone points out that Santa is secular and technically has nothing to do with the religious traditions behind Christmas, the Baby Jesus won't be the only one gettin' poked in the eye.)