How to Lose Weight without Even Trying

1. Buy a 70-year-old brick Cape Cod.
2. Live in a locale where 94 degree days are not uncommon.
3. Ask husband to disconnect air conditioning ducts (Yes, he did and no, I don't want to discuss it).
4. Sit and/or sleep in house. Fans optional.
5. Sweat profusely.
6. Try to stay hydrated.
7. Don't let your dog - aka - "My own personal fur coat" sit on your lap as much as she might want to. I mean, we all have our limits. Would you wear a fur coat in this weather? Yeah, I didn't think so.
8. Repeat every day the temperature goes above 85 degrees.
9. Ignore everything your trainer has told you and do what you want.
10. Inexplicably, lose 8 pounds.
11. Be offended when your trainer tells you it's probably water weight.
12. The end.