Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Serving Suggestion

Someone in some blog somewhere (Mimi Smartypants, maybe?) wrote that the Target brand potato chip (Archer Farms, by the way) is perhaps the best potato chip ever. Since it doesn't take much encouragement for me to buy potato chips, when I was in the Tar-jee last night, I bought myself some.

First. Mimi SmartyPants (or somebody) is damn right. Excellent, excellent chip. The only criticism I have (if pressed to find something wrong with an otherwise perfect chip) is that the salt does not appear to be evenly distributed. I suppose if you gently shook the bag, or perhaps poured them into a bowl (instead of sticking your head in the bag, old gray mare style like I did), this problem would be alleviated. Speaking of bowls, on the front of the bag o' chips, we find a beautiful picture of the glorious chips in a nice blue bowl. In teeny, tiny white letters in the lower right-hand corner of the picture: Serving Suggestion.

Are they *&^%$# serious?!? Is this what our country has come to? We're either so stupid, or so litigious, or both that we must be told that, in fact, surprisingly, the bag of chips does not come with the bowl. Nor do the chips come already neatly arranged in bowl. I can honestly understand including that in certain cases. I _almost_ bought a frozen bag of those Lean Cuisine "stir-fry dinners" or whatever they are until I saw that the chicken was a "serving suggestion." But you know what? Had I bought the bag-o-stir-fry, taken it home, dumped it into a pan to reveal the dinner's chicken-less state, in NO way would I have blamed the grocery store, Lean Cuisine, or anyone else. I would have cursed my own laziness, wondered at my own stupidity and then thrown it out and ordered a pizza (yes, I am really that lazy.)


Blogger Julie said...

Oh ha ha! I wasn't going to leave any comments while reading through but I just can't help myself. Have you ever noticed how the directions on canned soup tell you to "empty contents into saucepan" before heating? Another one: wet wipes. "Remove from packet; use."

I hate to think what would've happened if I hadn't seen those directions.

April 28, 2006 5:59 AM  
Blogger DocTurtle said...

My favorite has always been the plastering of "serving suggestion" over a bowl of Cheerios actively being covered with milk (complete with sloppy gratuitous splashes). Here "serving suggestion" is usually stalked by its cereal-box twin, "enlarged to show texture." As if someone's once seen a four-inch-wide Cheerio.

May 25, 2008 7:25 AM  

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