How I Met My Husband: Part III in a Series
I had two years of circus-freak dating between the end of one relationship and the beginning of the relationship with my husband. I truly am grateful for those two years now, but at the time I thought the cosmos had a really, really sick sense of humor. Near the end of those two years, thinks were starting to get really bad. Exhibit A:
My friend Sondra set me up with one of her former co-workers. At this point, I had reduced my standards to just a few things. Namely: Does he wear jewelry? Perhaps it has to do with the fact that the men in my family only ever wore wedding rings and watches, or perhaps it has to do with the fact that my ex-husband wore a freakin' hematite strand of BEADS (weirdo!), but I do not like the men I date to wear jewelry. Sondra assured me that Matthew did not, in fact, "wear gems." (Her words.) We went on exactly one date. During dinner, he asked me, "What do you suppose happens to the souls of all the poor little aborted babies?" (Seriously, WTF?!?!? To quote a friend of mine, "Am I in a skit?") Dude, you've got the wrong girl. And even if you had the right girl, is that really first date "dinner" conversation? I think not.
I ignored his subsequent voicemails (I know, I'm brave like that) and then finally he sent me a heart-breaking e-mail about how he thought we really "clicked" and he was so confused and was there something he did or didn't do that perhaps he could fix? So, I tried to write the nicest e-mail I could think of and said something about how I was really off-the-chart pro-choice, and his question kind of freaked me out. Then he e-mailed me back about how he just loves kids and he is one of 5 and how his parents did such an amazing job (barf!) and he can't WAIT to be a parent, and he was just, you know, kind of wondering. It didn't mean he was anti-abortion or anything.
Like the true coward I am, instead of picking up the phone, I continued in this non-sensical e-mail vein. I had my get-out-of-jail-free pass. Kids!? I'm out. That simple. My uterus is not set up for boarders. No vacancies. I e-mailed him that sorry - but clearly, we were not a good match, since he wanted to start his own basketball team, and I was not exactly the maternal type.
Then, he e-mailed ME back and said it was okay - he didn't necessarily have to have kids if the right person was in his life.
Oy. So sad, really. We're all just lookin' for a little love, a little companionship and some of us are a bit more desperate than others.
And this isn't even the date I was going to write about - this was just a prelude to the straw that broke the camel's back! Perhaps another post today is imminent.
Labels: How I Met My Husband Series