Sex Ed in Higher Ed

College instructor teaching human sexuality rants about the dumbing down of America, the lost art of manners, grammar and (the perfect combination of both) the thank you note. Also includes random rants about life, pet peeves, and sometimes raves about favorite things.

Monday, March 10, 2008

So . . .

A good friend called me last Thursday night from her daughter's top-secret-mandatory parents-of-little-gymnasts meeting. My good pal is so not a "gymnastics mom" that she brings lots of reading material and figures anything really important will be given to her in writing. (Like: Your child could be seriously injured at any time. We are not responsible. Please sign this waiver.) So the other mothers are scribbling furiously in their notebooks, raising hands and asking questions while my pal flips through her Atlantic Monthly. After laughing out loud a few times (and getting glaring looks from the gym-mombots) she got up to call me. Her whispered voicemail basically said, "Read this article. Let's discuss."

So, being the person with no life good friend that I am, I immediately went and read the article.

Interestingly, the next day I was looking on WebMD for some information on facial twitches (don't ask), and there was another article about the Atlantic Monthly article. It's hit a nerve, clearly. And I have to wonder if it's hit a nerve among men, although I doubt it. Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! Do you suppose men considering "settling" without the ominous ticking of a biological expiration date?

So, if you're still dedicated enough to listen to the crazy woman formerly known as Teacher Lady, go have a read and then post your thoughts. Lord knows I have some. So you show me yours and I'll show you mine.



Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

She never explicitly mentions money. I married a great husband - kind and smart and funny and hardworking. But when I met him, he was poor. Somehow I think in Gottlieb's world that would be considered "settling." But the few women I know who insisted on a man with money ended up with men I would never want. I never considered my choice "settling." I considered it "being smart instead of shallow."

Also, - and I know I am reeeeeeaaaally out of the cultural mainstream on this - I wonder if the lack of fascination she complains of would still be an issue if people didn't sleep together so quickly. When you date a guy for eight months without sleeping with him, no matter who he is, he becomes pretty damn fascinating. I'm just sayin'.

March 10, 2008 10:30 AM  
Blogger The_Myth said...

Among men, wasn't there always the tradition of 2 types of girls: the girl you fuck and the girl you marry?

I wonder if that still holds for some guys.

And, although it was ATROCIOUS, there was a hint of the "ticking" thing going on in _Scott Baio is 45 and Single_. On the final episode, he finally decides he wants to marry hi long-time girlfriend. In a stunning turn, his fiance reveals she is pregnant, thus producing the sequel _Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant_.

Obviously this speaks to *something* cultural with regard to men and the inevitability of marriage. Although it is worth noting the age differences here...

March 11, 2008 10:49 PM  
Blogger DrSpouse said...

I read the first one and skimmed the second one having gone "bleugh, whatever". It's all very well for these people to say "Settle!" (and believe me, they do, in real life too) but what precisely are we supposed to settle for? The married guy with the wandering eye? The gay friend who is in business and wants a walker (yes, mother, when you said I was being "too fussy" you didn't know that, did you?)? Or no-one? Because at several points in my life that is who has been on offer.

Thankfully Mr Spouse turned up in the nick of time to save me from a lonely, although possibly not from a childless, old age.

March 20, 2008 11:03 AM  
Blogger Liberal Banana said...

Oh my GOD that article was long. In fact, so long that I couldn't even bring myself to finish it. I just had to comment right away! I have to point out that the author is plain wrong about this line: "The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after." Yeah, not quite. In my book club, we're reading A History of Marriage by Stephanie Coontz ( and she points out that it's only VERY recently that people have decided that love is the most important factor in deciding whom to marry. In the past it was more about forming alliances, gaining in-laws, and creating a structure under which you could pass along wealth.

For me personally? I don't want to get married at all, and I don't want kids. My bf and I have been together for 5 years now and it's just swell. We live together (for the past 15 months) and have dogs. I'm happy. :)

March 27, 2008 11:49 AM  
Blogger mex (aka Syb) said...


Have you pretty much retired r blog?

I was a former!! (YAY) teacher who kept a (Pokey) blog for awhile but after retiring ran outta runt stories

I am NOT looking for (blog) readers) MY WRITING frankly SUCKS.. but I LOVE YOUR BLOG.. even when u are NOT writing about school stuff

It has always BEEN MY FAVE.. ONE OF 3..

Shoot me an email if u have time.. I will REALLY miss it if u have abandoned it
Hope to hear from u


April 19, 2008 11:29 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home