To Bring or Not to Bring?
As I was tweaking my syllabus, trying to come up with more rules for my students to ignore, (maybe, please shower at least 24 hours prior to attending this class) Mr. J. made a suggestion: "Perhaps if you're going to require your students to staple their papers, you should bring a stapler to class with you. You know, so you'll be the cool and really nice teacher."
I was incensed. "First of all," I huffed, "I am not cool. I may be deluded about my abilities in a variety of areas, but never - not ever - for one second have I been under the impression that I am cool. So there's no point in trying." Really, once I embraced my inner band-geek, my life got so much easier.
"Also, I have a lot of stuff to carry. A lot. For example, on certain days, I have to carry about 50 cans of Play-Doh. On other days, I carry an extremely large tackle-box-looking thing that contains every type of contraceptive known to woman. Sometimes, it's just those giant flip chart Post-It Note things, and if that isn't enough, there's always my book, the instructor guide, handouts, quizzes and any of their papers that I'm returning. I don't live in that classroom. Do you see me there, now, putting up giant cardboard renditions of puppies and bunnies on my bulletin boards? I don't have a desk - I REFUSE to become a traveling office supply kit on top of everything else."
"I'm just sayin'," Mr. J. said. This is his new saying. He is not from Texas, but you'd never know it lately.
"What?" I demanded. "What are you saying?"
"I'm just saying that maybe if you carried a stapler and maybe you lowered your expectations, maybe you wouldn't be so pissed off and huffy all the time."
Lower my standards to preserve my sanity . . . let me say that again . . . lower my standards to preserve my sanity.
"No," I pouted, sounding much like a three-year-old, "I won't."
He sighed. "Okay," he said. "I think it's going to be a looong semester."
Labels: Baby's First Breakdown